Working as a pair and creating experiences for pairs.

Apart from our individual sessions and the group practices, partner dynamics are highly valued for us. Water Doulas has always been collective and plural. And in this diversity we work with pairs. Besides receiving couples for the waterdoulas sessions, where we float doubles , working in pairs involves forming a team for that moment, for that ritual, and so we welcome couples but also parents and children, siblings, friends and special situations, extending the support and sensations in water. In some cases we receive other professionals and their clients to create a safe aquatic space, for an unique and special experience.

Working as a pair. Creating experiences for pairs.

Here we go, we took up the challenge to co-write about working in pairs and with colleagues to create experiences in the water. It couldn't be more symbolic than this. Because if we truly listen to this writing process, we can find many starting points for our own practice that we propose here.

To start with, there are some challenges when co-creating (and yes, we dive into the advantages of this too):

Insecurity

Is there a leader? Who is in charge?

Do we have the same vision? Am I aligned with mine?

Do we speak the same language? And if not, do we fully understand each other's intentions?

Am I willing to have what I have brought in, undone by the other?

Working in, with and for pairs calls us to flexibility, invites true presence which challenges us to listen to the other and to break new ground to move forward, or not. Often, working in pairs also implies waiting for the other before continuing and just resting in calmness, in this time that is ours.

Let's forget the water for a second. We believe that this work goes beyond that. Since the foundation of partnership work is in almost everything. In our home, our family, relationship with colleagues and clients. It is a lot about doula care, or the doula way of assistance and support, as part of a bigger team.

Life is about togetherness or as the African proverb says:

“If you want to go fast go alone. If you want to go far go together ".

Working together is a must in this world we share with all these billions of others. We know simply from our experience that we ‘need’ others to travel this path of growth. And without misinterpretation, underneath this togetherness there is a solid foundation of the individual.

A person who is in tune with herself, who knows how to communicate her needs and who is willing to give and receive.

So if we look at that individual, what are the qualities one should have for her to work or live together with another person?

To truly create something together, like conceiving a child, or run a business togheter, alignment is needed. Willingness to give and receive, clear communication and oneness. Co-creation requires attunement on a profound level. There is no difference in water. Since our desire is to create something together, or rather witness what wants to be created under our hands.

So we say goodbye to our wills and certainties with more or less effort, making room for silence in which we listen to the protagonists telling us their needs/wishes.

Working in pairs is a possibility to create different dynamics to the therapeutic and ludic bodywork in water. In fact we are inviting the triad to take place, expanding even further than passive-active gestures or giver-receiver protocols. We are asking ourselves to be able to act with four hands, embracing all the beautiful benefits it brings to a receiver, when acted from the heart and with care. We are opening a space of pure sharing between partners, to share pleasurable and sensible experiences in real time.

What we want to offer is a safe space to those who receive, assist, support. A space where we can all be ourselves, free yet safe and secure. When working together in water, it's good to be aware of the space for the true Self. Where do you meet? How does it feel? Do you feel safe with the other and dare to express your sense of discomfort if so. Remembering how much water amplifies our sensations, sometimes shuffles our senses and also how much it activates our unconscious memories. Water offers us the possibility to expand the self, to grow and to belong to something much bigger where everything is involved.

Next to this it is also good to remember the fact that we become an equal part of this collaboration. Which means you both bear half the responsibility. Or rather, you both carry all the responsibility. From this angle, it's much more comfortable to enter a creation space together. And be the mirror for those who receive. It is a unique thing to share these moments with those we love.

Fundamentally we would say, to unite a couple who will give birth to their baby or to unify partners/ family members/ friends that are in need of meeting, of balance and of rest… One-ness is the key.

And this is simply no different for us as aquatic bodyworkers when we engage in a deep partnership to honour the other(s).

There is different configurations that we are exploring here. Two therapists for one protagonist, two therapists for 2 protagonists and one therapist for 2 protagonists.

Two therapists for one protagonist:

When you work together with somebody else in this healing space, you need to learn to read their mind. In the water this can be very subtle. And again, this requires one-ness. When we feel connected to our partner and the protagonist, there is no spoken language needed. And if there is, it’s not a problem but it might break the underlining work going on in the silent space.

It is important to listen to each other's moves, to what they offer to the process. Know your place, know when to do and not to do. There is a big difference in waiting until it is your turn to bring something in and to be part of the movement your partner just brought in.

An example: We work together with a woman and we use the rebozo to close her. When me and my partner are connected, he/she will know (because he/she listens to the protagonist) when to open the fabric or to even fold it a bit tighter. We will naturally feel when to act and when not to act.

There is no spoken language needed when both are aligned. If you feel there is language needed, ask yourself the question if you are fully there, if you are serving the other or if you are serving yourself showing off your skills. It might sound harsh but this is something we ALL recognize as aquatics, midwives, doulas, parents. That we impose, intervene. And we have the ability to grow beyond that together. So that we may bring back full responsibility to the one who is undergoing the session, the protagonist.

One therapist for two protagonists:

Working with pairs is a possibility to create different dynamics to the therapeutic and ludic bodywork in water. In fact we are inviting the triad to take place, expanding even further than passive-active gestures or giver-receiver protocols. We are asking ourselves to be able to hold the space for a couple or any partners relationship, embracing all the beautiful benefits it brings to both the feeling of being receivers and show somehow their connection and intimate place, acted from the heart and with care. We are opening a space of pure sharing between partners, to share pleasurable experiences (or sometimes sensible ones) at real time.

Welcoming all, open for it

by Patouf and Marjorie
waterdoulas@gmail.com

photo creds: Brian Corin (1, 3), Lao Marin (2), Zoie Wilson (4) and Aurelie Chauleur (5)

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